So my girlfriend of two and a half years dumped me a few days ago. Im pretty busted up. I REALLY did think we were gonnna spend forever together.
Heres the kicker...turns out she was never really wanting to get married. When i proposed and she said yes...she didnt know waht to say.
So i got lied to for two and a half years. Oddly enough im not really all that mad about it. Just sad. This is a pain i have never felt before.
Altho i shouldnt exactly make this out to be all her fault. Mostly it was mine for always flipping out about stuff amnd yelling all the time and saying some very hurtful things. Appretnylt its been like the last year and a half.
That being said why didnt she just have the balls to say something?
I dunno. We are gonna try to be freidns, and she is going to continue to help me out (i have my own bedroom and do plan on continuing to live there.)
but man how am i supposed to get over someone i loved with all my heart? I wantyed to marry her...have babies with her...she helped me have enough courage to come out as the man ive always felt like. She accpeted me and treatedme as such. It hurts.
And looking at her is hard...she is still very attractive to me sexually...and i worry i will never be able to supress that and i feel guilty.
Sorry for the rambling but i havent slept or ate much latel and i jsut wanted to get it all out while i still could.
Im functioning better than i thougt i would....but i had a dreams last night about her that broke my heart and i couldnt stop crying all morning. We talked and shit and i feel better but im
scared that im always gonna be in love her.
What happens when shes dates someone else?
How can some new girl, (or guy for that matter) accpet and love me as a man?
I jsut wanna fall in love with someone and have them love me equally. I dont want any one sided thing.
i jsut...i can barely think right now.
Thank you for reading. If you made it this far thank you for giving a shit.